Wow, I have not been on here in forever. Let me tell you, a lot has changed since my last post. I guess a few things drove me not to post on here anymore; maybe that needs to change. Then again, maybe not. What I do know is that I feel compelled to post right now, so here I am.

As you know, I started this blog when my Mom left, the first time. However, she came back, and this journal took on a new and happier life. Well, journal, she is gone again. It’s been a few months that she has been gone now, and I guarantee she is not coming back. Right now she is off in Arizona, with some guy named Tony that I have never met. I guess maybe it is time for a story…

Since the beginning of the summer, when things seemed as if they were going amazingly well, my sister, mom, and I were planning on going to my cousin’s baby shower. However, at that time none of us (except for maybe my mom) knew that it was going to change our lives forever. Somehow in the time before the baby shower, the fighting started between my parents again. Three days before the shower, my mom told me that I would be driving up to the shower, that she would be staying there and never coming back home. Needless to say, I was no longer very excited about that baby shower.

The day of the shower arrives, and I have my boyfriend come with us (despite the fact that, as most of us know, baby showers are usually just for the girls) due to the fact that I am an extremely emotional person, and I knew I was going to have a problem driving home that day. So, not only do I have my mom leaving on my mind, but I am guilty for dragging Jaryd along when he would have been much happier staying home. The shower starts and ends, my mind on other things all along; it is time to go home. Jaryd, my sister, my brother chad (who my mom decided it would be a good idea to bring, for some reason) and I get into the car. My brother, who is only six years old, realizes that my mom is not getting into the car. He begins bawling his eyes out, begging my mom to stay. It takes about a half an hour until we are actually able to leave, my brother is still crying though. Finally, after much joking and silliness, Jaryd gets him smiling.

Now, let me get one thing straight. At this point, I was on my mom’s side. We live in Connecticut, and my mom’s family lives an hour away in Massachusetts. That is not a bad drive at all. I understood that she was leaving because she wanted to end the fighting; I felt as though she was saving us. Sure, I didn’t want her to leave, but I had realized long before that a divorce would probably be best for us all. Things at home were just too scary; it was no longer a happy or healthy home for any of us. So even though it made us all upset, it seemed like a very commendable thing that she was doing. Then we got home.

My Dad was devastated. He was asking us questions: Where is she? Where is she going? Why is she doing this? We’ve been married for twenty-two years! and it was quite hard to deal with them. My mother and everything involving her seems like such a blur now; it all happened so fast. My mom called us, she was in Arizona. She was with a guy named Tony. Was not coming back. It was for us. Her family did not know she was coming there. I guess you can say that is the bulk of what I know about my mother right now. What I remember the most about this summer is the tears that my dad cried, his false hopes of my mother coming home and them being happy again, and my six year old brother staring out the window hoping that every car driving by or phone ringing was her. But eventually, we realized that nothing was going to happen; this was our new reality.

My mom was supposed to stay in Massachusetts, instead she ran off to Arizona. She was supposed to help us pay our bills, but instead she took all of the money. She was supposed to let us visit once she was settled (although, we obviously couldn’t in Arizona…), but now she never calls. Well, now she can’t, because my dad blocked her number. Understand, he wasn’t blocking her; he was blocking Tony. Tony likes to leave angry messages on our answering machine, and my dad doesn’t think his kids deserve to hear that; I don’t think we do either.

Things around here are a lot different now, and a lot of other things have changed since my mom left.

I have lost and made a lot of friends; some of them were very dear to my heart. But I have come to terms with the fact that God brings people in and out of  our lives for a reason. He puts people in our lives that He knows we need, and they leave when they have done their part. Only some people are meant to stay in your life forever.

Then, I cut my hair, as you can see from my photo for this entry. That was taken on my birthday, which I can say was probably one of the best yet. I spent the weekend with my boyfriend and my family. By family, I mean both my mom and my dad’s side; luckily, my mom’s family was on our side, and has been very supportive.

Jaryd has decided to go to the Air Force, and is going to be taking his ASVAB test as soon as possible. He plans to leave in February. I remember when he wanted to leave for the Coast Guard, I couldn’t stand it…but I know that the Air Force is what God wants for him. I just have a feeling. Our relationship has been rocky, but we have kept it together, and I am so thankful for that.

The biggest changes have been the most recent. On my birthday, my dad and my brother started coming to church with Jaryd, my sister, and I. He also met a wonderful woman named Cathy, who I very much believe was sent to him (and us) from God. She was from Michigan, and ended up moving up here and into our house. It was a bit overwhelming at first, and we are still getting used to it, but they are in love. They are in love in a way that I never saw between my mom and my dad; I think it is very much true love. She just got a job up here, which is great; she loves to hang out with my little brother, and even plays wii and games with all of us. We have had family game nights, all go to church together, and sometimes just sit and talk. It is weird to actually have a family that hangs out together, but I guess it is supposed to be normal. (I wouldn’t know) Cathy has a son named Chad, but we call him Leon (considering we have a Chad of our own) and also a daughter named Hannah. Leon lives here with us, but none of us have met Hannah yet. It’s a strange living arrangement, I guess, but I really do believe God is in these decisions; He is leading us in the right direction.

One last thing! I am enjoying this year at college; my room and roommate are so much more amazing than last year. I room with my best friend, Ashley. Also, Jaryd’s cousin, Nicole is in my suite. So, it has been a pretty amazing year. On top of that, I have changed my major: I now want to be an elementary teacher. That is probably one of the biggest changes of all!

As you can see, I have a lot of life going on…and maybe that is why I haven’t written. But now I feel that it is all the more reason to…with my new “mother” figure in our house, my boyfriend getting ready to leave to boot camp, and my new challenge to become an elementary teacher instead of a high school teacher…I am sure that I will have many more stories to come! So, journal, I am back! But for now, it is time for me to head back to bed. (Yeah, I woke up and wrote this in the middle of the night. Weird, huh?)

See you later, bloggers! And until next time, Happy Blogging!