Those lines from a White Stripes’ song reminded me that yes, I must be fine–my heart in fact is still beating. I thought this was rellevent because today at the Writing Center we talked about fear.

And something that I have always been afraid of is taking responsibility for who I am. Realizing I have an unhealthy relationship with food, and am not able to eat like everyone with a good metabolism. Showing people who I really am, even if that means they won’t like me anymore. Doing what is right even if that means learning the truth. That is what scared me.

But even though it is wearing me out, and breaking me down, I am beginning to survive and overcome all of these fears. I am taking responsibilty for being overweight. I am not blowing off things that need to be done, commitments I have made. And I am going out of my comfort zone and actually doing things that will get me somewhere in life. And I am proud of that. I haven’t died from stepping out of my comfort zone–my heart is still beating; I am alive.

And I am also realizing that I never gave myself enough credit. Today, at the WC, I decided to read my paper. Now, let me tell you–I hate presenting things to people, especially stuff that I have written. It scares me, because I am always afraid I won’t be good enough. But when I was done reading, and Larry said “And you didn’t want to read that?! That was great!” I was shocked. I was so shocked that these amazing writers around me, with their beautiful words that I admire, thought that I was great. It made me think that taking risks and coming out of my shell is really not so bad. Maybe I don’t have to be shy, and maybe the WC will be what brings me out for good.

I feel comfortable there, and I am really excited to have this oppurtunity. I think that it is going to bring out a whole new side of me, and I am happy to work there because I finally feel at home at RIC again, the way I felt when I first fell in love with the college, and was dying to go. Next year is going to be a great year, I can already tell.

But now I am off to watch Fired Up! with Jaryd. I am going to be gone all weekend at another Relay for Life, so I won’t post for the next few days or so. But until then, Happy Blogging!! =)